shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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