whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
