I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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