I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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