yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
