he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize