hotel room ftw
dude i'm inner monologue high
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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