apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
