Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
