Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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