Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
