Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
operation have a gay friend backfired
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
