yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
