The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
