awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize