I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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