I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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