that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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