erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
