i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
