I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You brought string cheese to the strip club
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
