it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
