so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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