Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
