Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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