wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
