New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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