Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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