How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
