I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
