She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
