i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
