If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
