also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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