I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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