There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
