i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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