that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize