Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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