Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
