I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
