You're so nebulous sometimes
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize