I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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