Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
