i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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