Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Mom said you looked used
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
