with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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