LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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