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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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