Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize