have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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