i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize