she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
