Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
