I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
