hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there is glitter all over my balls
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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