am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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