we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
