It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just google imaged poop.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
