talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
