i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize