So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have post one night stand depression
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
