you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
