this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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