you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
