I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
