Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
