I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
