I love black thongs
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
