I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
from now on my penis is your penis
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize