oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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