Porn is love you can see.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
