Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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