All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
