I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
