Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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