A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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