My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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